I think I figured out part of it....

I was thinking about what I wrote yesterday, about wanting to steal other identities, and I thought "Hey I wonder if it means anything that I chose these three specific people to be?."

Here's what I think it means:

Mary-Louise Parker:  Well, more accurately I want to be her character on Weeds, Nancy Botwin.  Nancy-Bot owns everyone she knows.  No one uses her--she uses everyone around her, but they love it.  Something about her intoxicates everyone to the point that they don't see her flaws, they only see the awesome parts.  Everyone is fiercely loyal to Nancy-Bot and they don't even turn her in for dealing drugs or having FBI agents murdered in her bedroom.  I just know that if I could look and act exactly like Nancy, no one would complain about my bad judgment or lack of tact, because they would love me too much and instantly forget about all the bad things I have done. Instead of keeping account of my mistakes, they would shield me from the consequences of my actions, delivering me lattes and cooking me things even though I never put out.

Alison Mosshart:  *sigh* Ahhh Alison.  I'm going to try to control myself and stay on-point because I get very easily off track when I start talking about her.  She is, arguably, the sexiest human alive, not to mention she is sooo talented. I want to be her because she owns the room.  When Alison is on stage, she is home. Everyone is glued to her; she never needs to feel self-conscious or embarrassed.  She can get sweaty, she can stumble, she can scream into the microphone off-key, and all it does is add to her magnetism. I, on the other hand, have to work so hard just to survive on the stage that it's like I'm drowning and people are pointing and laughing at me as I struggle to come up for each breath of air.  If I were Alison, I would never feel humiliated again.  

Zooey Deschanel:  This is the most tragic of them all.  When I was a teenager, I thought "I'm going to be funny and smart and free-spirited. I'm going to have awesome bohemian clothes and play folk guitar."  I am none of those things; Zooey is all of them.  Even down to her messy hair and un-manicured nails, she is what I clearly envisioned for myself once all the teenage drama was over, but it didn't work out that way.  The closest I get is listening to Carol King records and chewing on my cuticles.

I think this post has been very NOT Hyperbole and a Half -like.  I love Allie Brosch, who writes that blog, and you should definitely check it out, but I shall do my best to just write pure me and not copy her or anyone.  If that's not enough for you, I'll remind you of what a Mexican drug king pin said to Nancy-Bot in season 4:  "Nothing is ever enough, but we live, and we try."