Stop Treading on Me, Fitness Haters!

     Diet and excercise are obviously good things.  Doing these things is not anything spectacular, but there are two groups of people who clearly think that they are, and while they are opposite in many ways from each other, they are equally annoying, as they are really trying to communicate the same thing.

"Oh my God! You excercise!  I am soooo jealous! I could never do that!"
     People who say this behave as though putting on a pair of sneakers and walking around the block is some extreme sport requiring a large portion of God-given talent.  I suppose tying double-knots can be tricky, but there is always velcro. I think what these people are really saying is "I'm going to pretend that your paltry amount of physical fitness time is a big deal so that I won't feel badly about never excercising at all.  After all, we're not all Superman!"

"You excercise too much. You look anoretic. It's not healthy to be that skinny." 
     I can understand this kind of reaction to a person with an ACTUAL eating disorder, but my BMI is actually on the high end of average.  On a good week, I excercise for maybe two hours total. On a bad week, I don't work out at all, and have been known to eat Nutella out of the jar with a big wooden spoon. That barely qualifies as an extreme health regimen.   What these people are really saying is "I shall accuse you of an outrageous and unhealthy fitness routine, calling into question your priorities in life, thereby establishing myself as the superior being. My life is so frought with meaning that I laugh at your time spent developing cardiovascular fortitude and chopping vegetables.  I feel sad for you."

    If you know the secret to actually becoming overly extreme with fitness and sticking to it, please clue me in.  Otherwise, please stop trying to discourage me from what meager attempt I am making.  Also, if you know a good place where I can buy Nutella in bulk, that would really help me out.