Red and the Pimp

Chloe: If you were able to add one amendment to the constitution,
making it unbreakable and permanent national law,
What would it be?

Anders: Mmmm good question.

Chloe: I'm assuming your answer has to do with boobs
like
'If Anders enters the room, all females under the age of 40 are obligated to take their tops off on command."

Anders: As cool as that would be
it would be selfish.

Chloe: That's the point of the question.
You can be selfish cus it's not real.

Anders: I would rather make a new law that benefitted mankind in an awesome way.
Besides,
that already happens when I walk into the room.
:)

Chloe: booyah
How about…….
if you make more than $1,000,000 a year, like……..
idk
Something that would allow an equalizing to take place?
But I think I'm describing communism.

Anders: hahahaha

Chloe: I JUST INVENTED COMMUNISM

Anders: Oh Chloe your such a commy. You and your obamacare.

Chloe: Okay so how exactly would you benefit mankind with your legislation?

Anders: Well it’s no secret that boobs make the world spin,
so I think I would set up some sort of show your boobs earn reward points system:
Men get to see boobs
There fore making them happy and more productive,
while women earn reward points to spend on certain items
I think productivity would go up.
Crime would fall.

Chloe: and YOU are describing prostitution.
YOU JUST INVENTED PROSTITUTION.

Anders: At least I’m not a commy.


Having typed this chat out into blog form, a few major stumbling blocks are jumping out at me, leading me to the conclusion that I definitely cannot be friends with Anders any more.  Perhaps you noticed them as well.

1. At first I was semi-impressed with his selflessness when I suggested the boob thing.  "That would be selfish. I would rather make a new law that benefitted mankind in an awesome way."  Okay.  How nice of you.  I'm thinking a law that would protect the innocent, feed the hungry, or maybe give complimentary Sani-wipes at the DMV.  But no.  He meant not "It's selfish because I would get a cheap thrill at the expense of the dignity of others," but rather "It's selfish because I'm the only one who would get cheap thrills at the expense of the dignity of others." 
2. In this boob-laden utopia, did you notice that the men are the only "productive" members of society, and that the only role of females is to degrade themselves in order to fuel the continued productivity of the men?  Perhaps Anders would be more comfortable in the year 450 A.D., when the women wore leg irons as they served great goblets of mead to the menfolk.
3. The last problem with the conversation has to do with how I grossly mislabeled as "prostitution" what at most seems like some kind of national strip club or sexy Chuck-E-Cheese. 

I'm not going to address the whole issue of me possibly being a communist.  Maybe later. Right now I have some back issues of The Daily Worker to catch up on.