I can pay you in hugs!

The one thing that really sucks about being an adult is that whenever something unpleasant must be done, you are the one who has to do it.  I suppose I could hire an assistant, but I myself am employed as an assistant, so technically 100% of my salary would have to go directly to my own assistant person.  I'm no mathemetician, but even I know that is not a very sound business plan.  Ergo, I am obligated to do these things for myself, most likely over and over again, until I die. 

Scheduling Doctor's Appointments

"Doctor Important's office."

"Hello ma'am I'm a patient of Doctor Important and I'd like to make an appointment."

"Slow down slow down! What is your name?"

"Chloe Peace."

"CARLY?"

"CHLOE. C-H-L-O-E."

"C-H-O-L-E-"

"No ma'am it's "C" AS IN CHARLIE, "H" AS IN HARRY, "L" AS IN LUCY, "O" AS IN OSCAR, -"

"Carly there's not need to spell it again I'm not stupid. Last name!?"

"Peace."

"Can you spell that?"

And you can take it from there.  Women who answer phones at doctors' offices do not "ask" questions. They state the nature of the information that they need.  It's not "What is your birthday?", but "BIRTHDATE."  "LAST MENSTRUAL CYCLE."  "LAST PELVIC EXAM."  Do they really need to know all of that just to get me in to see the doctor about a mole on my arm?  I really think these people are on a power trip, and I want no part of it. 

Emptying the Dishwasher

I've spent a fair amount of time thinking about this one, and I can't say for sure what my problem is with it.  On a bad day, it takes about 90 seconds max to complete the task, but I just HATE doing it.  My best guess is that I am bothered by the tedium of moving a clean object from one place to another.  Kind of like how I don't mind washing the laundry, drying it, even folding it, but actually putting it away cannot be done without a great deal of sighing.  Also there is always the chance that two clean dishes will scrape against each other and make that awful noise that I associate with prison. 

Purchasing Tampons

In addition to the obvious embarrassment of buying an item that everyone knows is going straight to a location that you'd rather they didn't think about, there's the more troubling implication that you are possibly unstable due to unpredictable hormonal surges.  Since I figure they see the box and expect me to burst out crying at any moment, being as I am having my "woman times", I usually make an extra effort to act happy and polite.  I think it may backfire and just make me look like I'm on cocaine.  Maybe by the time I hit menopause I will have found a balance.

That lady is awesome.  If you don't know who she is, I feel sadly for you.  Let's just say she wouldn't have a problem buying Tampax.  She'd probably just slam it down on the counter and announce "I need to purchase these because my uterus is going through a time of transition right now."

Over and over again.  Until I die.