Why Your Best Friend Should be a Geek

Geeks get a bum rap. In reality, they are a species of superheroes, and if you are a girl, you should totally have one as your best friend. Here are some of their super powers:

1) Super Gifting

Around the time regular cool teenage boys are making out with girls, going to the movies, and otherwise being socially functional, geeky boys are honing their stalking skills. Stalking is a great excercise to help you be a good gift-chooser. What's her favorite color? What size shoes does she wear? Is she a blouse-wearer or a tee-shirt wearer? What's her cup size? What songs are on her iPod, and in what order? All of these are things that a good stalker will know, and all of them contribute to identifying the perfect gift. Also, since geeky boy is usually broke from spending all his money on iPads and video games, so you can be sure that he won't get you some show-offy piece of bling to prove how much of a baller he is. He will however put a TON of thought into it. Regular guys buy gifts to say "Look how much money I spent on you, girl. I hope you're as shallow as I am." Geeky boys buy way more awesome gifts because they are trying to say "See how well I know you? It's because I care. Be my friend forever."


2) Super Listening

When the geek first meets you, he will be nervous and quiet due to fear of saying something geeky and embarrassing himself. This fear is well-founded and most likely based on several past experiences in which this exact scenario played out to his detriment. If you are lucky enough to meet him after he has learned his lesson, you are in for some of the most attentive listening of your lifetime.



3) Super I.T. Skills

If you own or plan to own any device containing small electronic parts, you need to find a geek and make him your best friend immediately. Having spent the better part of his teenage and young adult years attempting to simulate human interaction, he has basically mastered every piece of modern technology that you can purchase at Best Buy, the Apple Store or anywhere on the internet. This includes but is not limited to the following: your PC, laptop, Mac, iPod, iPad, iPhone, Blackberry, Playstation, XBox, LCD or Plasma TV, DVD player, BlueRay player, Roku, Nintendo DS, Ninteno Wiis, RockBand and Guitar Hero instruments, or any hardware or software produced 1975-present.



A few words of caution are in order here. First off, geeks always know if you are using them for their mad tech skills, and you will be denied. The only way to benefit is to love your geek truly from the heart, and then to express that love with home-cooked meals and allowing him to be seen with you in public. Also, if you are unlucky enough to attach yourself to one of the 2 guys out of the millions of available geeks on Earth who has NO technical computer skills, you have failed. Unless you really like playing Dungeons and Dragons and looking at dandruff, you should probably just cut your losses and find a new friend.

There are many more little magical nuances to being best friends with a nerd, but you'll just have to get one to find out. Meanwhile, if you like to get free stuff, talk endlessly about yourself, and have an operational laptop, then book it down to the local Game Stop and start flashing those bra straps.